The Dog Ate It

 

“The dog ate it.” How many times has that phrase been used? Millions? Billions? Millions of billions? Who hasn’t used it at least once? The time-honored excuse. It’s a tradition (“going back generations…”). So much so, that it’s used now more to get a laugh than as a reason. After all, a laugh brings its own rewards. “If you make the teacher laugh, she won’t take off so many points for handing the homework in late.” “If you can crack the boss up, he’ll give you an extension on that report.”

 

“The dog ate it,” as everyone knows, really means “I didn’t finish,” “I didn’t start,”  “I had something else I wanted to do instead,” or “I just didn’t feel like doing it.” But “the dog ate it” sounds less selfish, more as if it were something beyond the control of a mere human. “I feel really bad about it, but she’s just a puppy, it really couldn’t be helped,” or something along those lines. “It’s beyond my control.”

 

Plain and simple, it’s a lie, and not a very good one either. No one ever believes it. They know it’s a lie, you know they know it’s a lie, they know you know they know it’s a lie. But everyone’s comfortable with it.

 

“The dog ate it.” It’s perfect. Completely flawless.

 

Until you can’t find that ten-page paper you wrote out by hand after hours of careful planning, and your new puppy is trying just a little too hard to look cute.

End