Chapter 7

 

“I’m sure he’s not refusing to help because he’s friends with Black,” Lily insists, staring at the open door as though she can see down the spiral staircase and into James’s head.

 

“Maybe he thinks you’ll be upset with him?” I suggest. “It doesn’t particularly make sense to me, since you’re the one who came up with all this, but maybe he’s worried that if he agrees, you’ll think he doesn’t like you anymore.”

 

Lily laughs. “It’s not like that’s going to happen. I know he’s mad for me. He makes such a fool of himself whenever he’s around me that it’s not easy to miss.  Especially with him climbing buildings to shout it from the rooftops.” She laughs again. “Someone really ought to tell him that he’s not supposed to take that saying literally.”

 

I can’t help but laugh as well. James really is a fool for love, and I do mean fool.

 

“Well, maybe it’s something else. Maybe he’s worried you’ll think he actually fancies me? I know it sounds stupid, but maybe…”

 

“Maybe…” she trails off, staring out the door again. “Or maybe…” she turns back to me, looking like the proverbial light-bulb has just gone off in her head. “Maybe he really does fancy you!”

 

“What?” I give her an incredulous look. “Lily, I think you’ve finally lost all your marbles. Are you that determined to find someone who fancies me?”

 

“No! No! Listen! He was behaving like he was hiding something, yes?”

 

“Well, yes, but that doesn’t mean –”

 

“And he wouldn’t look at you, right?”

 

“Right, but –”

 

“And he blushed and made up an excuse we obviously weren’t going to buy into and fled, correct?”

 

“Yes, but, Lily –”

 

“It all makes sense now!”

 

“Lily!” I grab her by the shoulders and somehow keep from shaking her until she rattles. “It’s completely ludicrous that James would have a crush on me!”

 

“Why?”

 

“Because, well, because it is!” Do I really have to explain this to her?

 

“No, it’s not,” she insists. “Oh, don’t look so exasperated. I’m not saying he’s in love with you.” She looks suddenly thoughtful. “I think it’s probably the same as you felt for Davenport. Attracted to one person, but in love,” she rolls her eyes, “with someone else.”

 

“Oh.” That actually made more sense than it didn’t, but I’m not quite sure why. I’m not quite sure I want to know why, either.

 

She smiles. “I’m sure that’s it.” Suddenly, her smile seems more smirk than smile.

 

I narrow my eyes at her. “What?”

 

“I think I know how to convince him to help.” Definitely more smirk than smile.

 

Why do I feel like this isn’t going to be good for me?

 

“What did you have in mind?”

 

“Oh, I don’t know.” Lily’s smile is gone, now. It’s all smirk. “Perhaps I could remind him that if he’s pretending to go out with you, you two will be doing a fair bit of snogging.” She winks at me. “And I can vouch for your talents in that area.”

 

Definitely not good for me.

 

“You wouldn’t dare. He’ll kill me!”

 

I wish I could smirk that wickedly and still manage to look angelic. Life is so unfair.

 

“Poor Rem,” she sighs, and her smirk dissolves into giggles. I think I prefer the smirk. “Life’s so difficult. Don’t worry, I won’t tell him you kissed me.”

 

“I was just showing you how Bryan kissed me,” I remind her defensively. “And we found out that the wolf doesn’t care whom I kiss, so long as it knows there’s no threat whatsoever to… its mate.”

 

I fall silent for a moment, thinking. We know now that Lily was right about kissing without meaning, so if we can somehow convince James to help, that won’t be a problem, since I don’t feel anything more than friendship for him, whatever he may feel for me, but… But with everything that’s been going on lately, with the kissing and my attraction to Bryan, I’ve realized I can feel the wolf’s presence more than I usually can when the moon isn’t full. The wolf didn’t particularly care when I kissed Lily, but I didn’t either. It hadn’t really bothered me to do it, but it wasn’t Lily I wanted to be kissing, it was him. It is him. I bet the wolf would care if I kissed him. And I bet it wouldn’t be angry. I bet it would be… I wonder if I’d be able to control it, if, once we were kissing, the wolf decided it didn’t want to wait for…

 

I shake my head, frantically trying to rid myself of these thoughts. Lily is giving me a strange look, frowning in concern.

 

“Rem, are you all right?” she asks.

 

“I’m fine,” I tell her.

 

She looks suspicious, but doesn’t press. I silently thank her for that.

 

“I’ll go find Potter and find out if we’re right, or wrong. If we’re wrong, I’ll find out what’s really going on.” She stands up and heads for the door. “You stay here,” she instructs. “It’s probably best if I talk to him one-on-one.” A trace of her smirk has returned. As she pulls the door closed behind herself, she calls back, “This shouldn’t take long.”

 

I laugh, and tip myself over backwards on my bed, so I am staring up at the canopy.

 

I should really tell James that if he would just settle down, Lily would be more than happy to go out with him. Of course, I’d have to find some way of telling him without actually telling him. Lily swore me to secrecy years ago, back when she first told me she liked James – and I first told her I liked him. I’d really rather not find out what she’d do to me if I broke my promise to her.

 

If Lily does convince James to play along, we’ll have to set some sort of time limit on it, we can’t keep it up forever. It wouldn’t be fair to James and it wouldn’t be fair to Lily. I realize it was her idea, and I know she’s thrilled with it, but I can’t imagine she’s going to enjoy watching me and James fool around, even if she knows it doesn’t mean anything. Though from some of the comments she and the other girls have made, I have to wonder…

 

No, no wondering. Wondering is bad. I’ll just hope it’ll make her a bit jealous, too, and maybe knock some sense into her. Perhaps if James and I pretend to go out, it will shake Lily out of her determination to wait until James learns to grow up before she’ll go out with him. Maybe then we can all be with the one we truly want.

 

I sigh, and suddenly realize that I can smell him. His bed is next to mine, but that’s not it. The scent is faintly coming from my own pillows and coverlet. I wonder if he’s been lying on my bed again.

 

Unbidden, the image of him as he was last Tuesday after I’d first spoken to Bryan invades my mind. He really did look like an angel. Lucifer. Angel of Sin.

 

I turn and bury my nose in my pillow, trying to absorb his scent. I want him, maybe even more than the wolf does, and I fight to maintain the control I’m not even sure I want. I can feel the drive. I can feel the hunger for something that isn’t food. It’s getting stronger, in both the wolf and in me. It’s getting harder to control and my interest in controlling it has been waning. The part of me that doesn’t want to trap him continues to battle for command, fearful that what the rest of me wants can only bring destruction. It’s a losing battle. The wolf still doesn’t know what I know, but it knows it’s close. And I know just how close it is.

 

I breathe in deeply, relishing the slightly spicy fragrance, and I wish I didn’t have to have my face pressed against a pillow to savor it.

 

“Remus?”

 

I flip over so quickly I nearly catapult myself off the bed, only managing to save myself thanks to the lightening reflexes of the wolf.

 

James is standing alone in the doorway of our room, face bright red, and looking supremely uncomfortable.

 

Wow, Lils. That was fast.

 

“I talked to Lily,” he mutters, not looking at me.

 

“Indeed?”

 

He shuffles into the room, goes to look out the window, then comes back towards me.

 

I turn, watching him poke around the room, wondering if he’s ever going to say anything, or if I’m going to have to wait for Lily to return to find out what’s going on. “Well?” I prompt.

 

“Ahgrkushoo,” James finally mumbles to his feet.

 

I wonder if his shoes are as interesting as mine. They must be, if they understood what he just said: it didn’t even sound intelligible, much less English.

 

“Huh?” Great. Now I’m about as intelligent as a pair of shoes. Or worse… James himself.

 

He clears his throat and tries again. “I’ve got a crush on you,” he says, much more clearly.

 

“That’s what Lily said,” I tell him.

 

He looks up, startled. “She did?”

 

I’m puzzled. “Didn’t she talk to you about that?”

 

“Didn’t say she told you,” he grumbles.

 

“I thought she told you girls talk about everything,” I remind him caustically.

 

“Oh,” he looks slightly abashed. “Right.”

 

“It doesn’t bother me,” I assure him. “As long as you’re okay with it.”

 

“Yes, well,” he avoids my eyes for a moment, looking past me, then, as though coming to a decision, his hazel eyes meet mine and he closes the distance between us.

 

“James?” I have to tilt my head a little to hold the slightly taller boy’s eyes. “What are you –”

 

My words are cut off as he pulls me against him and kisses me on the mouth.

 

TBC