Chapter 5

 

“Lily, will you please tell me what it is you’re planning?” I’ve very nearly lost my patience with the girl, and most people consider me a very patient person.

 

“Not yet,” she replies blithely, and flops down on one of the big couches in the common room.

 

I glare down at her, momentarily rejoicing at my sudden height advantage – she’s nearly as tall as I am when she’s standing, though that’s not really saying much. “Lily, you ditched your friends and dragged me all the way back here, and now you say ‘not yet’?”

 

“We’re waiting.”

 

“For what?”

 

“For whom,” she corrects.

 

“For whom?”

 

“For someone.”

 

“Lily.”

 

“I’m not telling just yet, so you may as well sit down, make yourself comfortable, and tell me all about your date.”

 

“The date you ruined, you mean?”

 

She scowls up at me. “I did not ruin your date. You know perfectly well it never would have worked out. And in any case, I wasn’t even there when it ended. So stop being such a boy and sit down so we can talk properly. I’m not used to having to break my neck trying to speak to you.”

 

I sit, but make it a point to grumble as I make myself comfortable next to her on the couch.

 

“All right,” she beams, ignoring my grumbling, and shifts to sit cross-legged, facing me. “Start at the beginning. Tell me everything.”

 

I shake my head at her, amused, and forgetting my irritation. Her enthusiasm is contagious. “Well,” I begin. “We met in here this morning at ten. He was already waiting for me.”

 

“I always appreciate punctuality in a date,” she grins. “Did the others wonder where you were going?”

 

“They were still asleep,” I explain, “and I didn’t want to wake them up. You know how they like to sleep in. And Siri didn’t get in until really late last night, er, this morning, so he must have been really tired. But I told James yesterday, and Siri found out, too. I, uh, forgot to tell Pete last night, though. I was, um, distracted.”

 

“How did Black and Potter take it?”

 

“Well, James was ok with it, once he got over the fact that I hadn’t told him right away. I think he was fussed because it was my first date, and I waited until the last minute to tell him.”

 

“And Black?”

 

“Siri didn’t take it so well,” I admit.

 

“Maybe he was jealous.”

 

“I don’t think so. I think he has something against Bryan. He was pretty upset earlier in the week, too, when I’d been talking to Bryan, and it had nothing to do with the date.”

 

“Maybe he was jealous,” Lily says again.

 

“I doubt it.” I suddenly feel very glum.

 

“We’ll see.” Lily is looking suspiciously pleased with herself, but she’s obviously not going to share, so I go on.

 

“Anyway, I left the others to sleep, and met Bryan here, and we went and got breakfast downstairs. Then we walked to Hogsmeade, and mostly just wandered around. It was so nice, today. He needed to get a new quill, and then he wanted to go up to see the Shrieking Shack, which was, obviously, silent.”

 

“Obviously,” she agrees. “He hasn’t bought into all that ‘haunted’ nonsense, has he?”

 

“I’m not sure,” I reply. “But, you know, we know it’s nonsense, but most people believe it. Dumbledore encourages the rumors, after all.”

 

“I suppose,” she says, and falls silent, waiting for me to continue.

 

“Well, then we wandered back into the village, and he wanted to go to Honeydukes, but it was so crowded, and I just couldn’t handle it, so I waited outside, and he went in.”

 

“I never knew crowds bothered you.”

 

“They never have, before. But, usually, I’m with…” I trail off.

 

“Black,” she finishes for me. “And he distracts you?”

 

I nod, feeling miserable.

 

“We’ll figure it all out,” she gives me a bolstering look. “Don’t worry.”

 

“Yeah,” I say without much conviction, but keep going. “So then you came out, and we talked, and then Bryan came out, and you left, and Bryan had bought candy for me, too. He’d said that, since he’d asked me out, he was supposed to treat.”

 

“Aw!” Lily coos. “A proper gentlemen! So rare,” she sighs wistfully. “You know, my mother always told me that it’s not a proper date ‘til the guy spends money.”

 

“I’m a guy, too!” I protest.

 

“Yes, but he asked you out,” Lily says in the same way Bryan had, as though that clarified everything.

 

“Yes, well…” I’m not really sure what to say to that, so I plough on. “Anyway, he’d bought a bunch of things, but no chocolate.”

 

“No chocolate?” Lily is stunned. “But… you love chocolate.”

 

“He forgot to ask.”

 

“Ouch.” She winces. “And of course, Black…”

 

“Wouldn’t have had to ask,” I finish.

 

“So that threw you off.”

 

I nod. “A bit. Anyway, we walked, and then he pulled me around a corner, and kissed me –”

 

“He kissed you!”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Oh my gosh! That was your first kiss, wasn’t it?”

 

“Well, no. He kissed me when he first asked me out.”

 

“And you didn’t tell me?” she whacks my arm. “So did little Remmikins finally get to first base?” she teases.

 

“Er… Which one is that?”

 

“Remus!”

 

“I’m sorry!”

 

“Tongue, Rem,” she says in exasperation.

 

“Oh.” I blink. “No.”

 

“No?”

 

“Well, almost, but then the –” I look around, and lower my voice a bit. “Then the wolf got, er… mad, and I pushed him away, and Siri, James, and Pete had showed up and were all watching us. Peter just looked shocked, but Siri seemed pretty upset. James was trying to pull him away. Then he did, and Bryan tried to kiss me again, but I stopped him, and told him that it wasn’t going to work, and I couldn’t see him again. Then I went and found you. And that was it. Do you think Siri thought Bryan was trying to hurt me?”

 

“Maybe,” Lily doesn’t look like she thinks that at all, but she doesn’t share what she is thinking. “So, before the wolf made a fuss and you pushed him away… was he a good kisser?”

 

Where did that come from? “I don’t know. I guess.”

 

“You guess?”

 

“I don’t have anyone to compare him to, Lily. I’ve never kissed anyone else before.”

 

“Oh. Right. Well… what was it like?”

 

“Nice. Soft. Sweet.”

 

“Show me?”

 

“Show you?” I’m lost.

 

“You know,” she looks at me like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “Kiss me like he kissed you.”

 

“Lily!”

 

“What?”

 

“What do you mean ‘what’? That’s just…”

 

“It’s not like it means anything. It’s no different than two girls practicing on each other, or something.”

 

“Yes it is!”

 

“How? You don’t like girls, remember? You like guys.”

 

“So do you!”

 

“Yes, but you hardly count as a guy.” She winces as soon as she says it. “I don’t mean that –”

 

“Don’t bother trying to fix it,” I mutter. “You’ll only make it worse. I know what you meant.”

 

“Well then,” she looks vastly relieved. “Don’t be so squeamish. We’re practically just a couple of girlfriends anyway. You’ll have to get used to kissing people when it doesn’t mean anything, and I doubt the wolf will mind if it knows it doesn’t mean anything. Besides, it’s just kissing. It’s not like I’m asking you to bang me into the couch.”

 

“Lily, that’s unbearably crude. I expect that sort of thing from the guys. Not from you.”

 

“I’m not allowed to be crude once in a while?” she raises an eyebrow at me.

 

“No. I need some sophistication in my life, and I’m not going to get it from my roommates. I depend on you for it.”

 

She laughs.

 

I wish I could laugh like that. Then maybe he’d notice me. Though maybe not. It’s beautiful, but definitely a girl’s laugh, and, though he definitely likes girls, he’s always liked guys better. Too bad I ‘hardly count as a guy.’

 

“So,” I decide to try again, “Why do I need to get used to kissing people when it doesn’t mean anything?”

 

She looks at me, and I can see she’s calculating. “That’s part of the plan,” she finally relents and explains.

 

“I have to kiss people?” This can’t be good.

 

“Just one person.” Her smile is so innocent I almost want to believe it.

 

“Who?”

 

“Potter.”

 

“James?”

 

“Yes. James Potter.”

 

“What?”

 

“Don’t worry, we’ll explain everything to him.” She pauses, tapping her mouth in thought. “We’ll explain everything to Davenport, too, so he doesn’t get the wrong idea. We wouldn’t want him to get hurt after he was so nice.”

 

“No, we wouldn’t.” I can’t believe her.

 

“Oh, calm down. I’ll explain everything to Davenport.”

 

“Why don’t you explain everything to me first.”

 

“Fine,” she huffs. “It’s like this. You and James pretend to be going out. Thus the kissing that doesn’t really mean anything. You can’t be convincing if you won’t even kiss.”

 

“And why do we need to be convincing?” This whole thing is rather hard to swallow, and I’m still not sure where she’s going with this. I want very much to just be angry with her for the whole idea, but, much as I hate to trust her schemes, they often work… just like the marauders’.

 

“Because if Black thinks you and Potter… all right, James are going out, he’s going to be jealous, which will prove to you that he was jealous before, and he didn’t just have a problem with Davenport. And if everything works as it should… Black will confront Pot – James, and tell him he’s so upset because he wants to be the one going out with you, because he is in love with you, which is so obvious if you look at him. And then James, being the wonderful friend that he is, will tell Black of course he’ll step aside, and he and Black will arrange some fancy face off scene to play out in front of you, so Black can play the hero, and you’ll fall into his arms, and he can whisk you off back to your room and the two of you can live happily ever after until the end of your days.”

 

All I can do is stare at her. That can’t possibly work. It won’t. It can’t… Can it?

 

It’s so crazy, it might. I can feel hope building, and I know it doesn’t have a permit to build here. But, maybe…

 

Oh, but… Hope crashes. “James will never agree to it.”

 

“Oh?” that damned copper eyebrow goes up again. “Won’t he?”

 

TBC