Author’s Notes: MWPP era, Third Year. Siri’s POV.

 

Chapter 7 – Full of Firsts (Part I)

 

“Anyone sitting here?” Sirius lounged casually against the doorframe of the train compartment, watching the boy already seated inside.

 

Said boy looked up from the book he was reading, and a smile spread across his face as his amber eyes lit on the dark-haired boy in the doorway. “What?”

 

“I asked if anyone was sitting here,” Sirius said again, feeling a grin spread across his own face in response to the smile curling the tawny-haired boy’s lips. “Everywhere else is full.” (1)

 

Remus laughed. The full, throaty sound sent tingles down Sirius’s spine. “Well, I’m sitting here, aren’t I?” he inquired, eyes flashing with mischief.

 

“Blocking doorways is a fire hazard, Black,” a voice behind Sirius informed him.

 

Sirius turned, pushing himself off the doorframe in the process. “James!” he cried out ecstatically, pulling the hazel-eyed boy into a strangle-hold and ruffling the already-mussed black hair.

 

“Ow! Ow!” yelped the noogy victim. “I say! Stop that you – !” he threw Sirius off with a fierce shove, and hastened to the compartment window, where he attempted to see his reflection well enough to assess the damage. “Look what you’ve done to my hair, you blackguard!” he complained.

 

Sirius, who had gone sprawling across one of the bench seats and sliding into Remus, looked up into the amber-eyed boy’s face, raising an eyebrow.

 

Remus quirked an eyebrow in reply, and turned to look at the boy still fussing at the window. “What are you doing, James?”

 

“Trying to fix my hair, what does it look like?” the boy snapped irritably.

 

“Um, Jamie?” Remus tried again. “Your hair always looks like a bird’s nested in it.”

 

“Here you guys are.” Peter stood panting in the doorway.

 

“Pete, does my hair look like it’s been nested in?” James demanded, voice tinged with panic.

 

“Er…” Peter looked remarkably like a rabbit cornered by a predator.

 

“Oh, sweet – !  No!” James screeched, voice cracking.

 

“Does it really matter all that much?” Sirius inquired, shifting around a bit on the seat until he was lying with his head on Remus’s lap.

 

“Does it matter?” James echoed, spinning around to stare at Sirius, eyes practically bulging out of their sockets. “Does it matter?” he was practically shrieking.

 

Sirius smirked. “I don’t know, Jamie-boy, that’s why I asked you.”

 

James’s mouth opened, throat working frantically, but no sound came out.

 

“I wouldn’t worry, if I were you, Jamie,” Remus said soothingly. “It just looks like you’ve been flying, and it never bothers you this much when it’s the wind that’s fussed with your hair.”

 

Sirius suddenly realized the light tugging on his scalp was caused by Remus’s fingers running through the black locks that Sirius had let grow out over the summer. He almost tensed – he hated people touching his hair, and knew Remus did as well – but then he realized he actually liked the sensation, so much so that he’d unconsciously been leaning into his friend’s touch.

 

James, somewhat mollified by Remus’s words, sank onto the bench-seat opposite.

 

Peter, after waiting a moment to make sure it was safe to venture further into the compartment, sat next to James.

 

Feeling suddenly very drowsy, soothed by the motion of the train and the steady glide of soft fingers combing through his hair, Sirius let his eyes close,

 

The compartment was quiet, the only sounds coming from the train itself, or from students in other compartments.

 

Sirius sighed in contentment, shifting closer to the gentle hand on his head.

 

He could hear James and Peter whispering. He felt a slight tug on Curiosity’s tail, but felt too comfortable to bother telling them it was rude to whisper and if they had something important enough to share, they ought to share with the entire class.

 

The rise and fall of Remus’s chest slowed as his breathing evened out in sleep, but his hand continued its path through Sirius’s hair.

 

A loud chuckle broke from the other side of the compartment. Sirius sleepily opened his mouth to tell the other boys to shut up, but fell asleep before the words left his mouth, teeth clicking almost inaudibly as they came together once more.

 

Remus’s fingers continued stroking his friend’s head as the train thundered north towards a new year.

 

– – – – –

 

“Did either of you find anything over the summer?” Sirius demanded of James and Peter, flopping down on Remus’s bed.

 

It was the second week of school, and Remus had left barely ten minutes earlier to meet Lily Evans for a potions lesson. Normally, Sirius would have made a fuss, or come up with some reason for Remus to cut the tutoring session short – he didn’t like Remus spending so much time with that girl, though he’d never questioned why – but it was the first time the three non-lycanthropic boys had been alone together since the start of term, and they needed to talk.

 

“I looked through Dad’s library, but I didn’t find anything new,” James admitted. “Mum caught me reading in there a couple times within a week early in the hols, and she started to get suspicious. She knows I don’t do my summer work until the end, and I never go in the library otherwise. So after that, I had to sneak in when they were both out. I didn’t find much of anything, and what I did find was all stuff we know. ‘Human turns into an evil wolf at the full moon –’”

 

“‘– very dangerous, especially to humans. Not to be trusted,’” Sirius finished. “Of course.” He sighed. “Peter? Anything?”

 

Peter shook his head. “Full moon. Silver. Vicious monster. Lethal to humans. Same old, same old.”

 

“Agh!” Sirius let out a frustrated noise, slamming a fist against the bedpost. “Ow!” he winced as his knuckles connected with the sturdy wood. He lay back with a heavy thump, nursing his hand. “I’ve got nothing either,” he muttered unnecessarily after a few moments.

 

“So what do we do, now?” James asked. “We scoured the library pretty thoroughly last year, and all we found out is that humans are in danger around werewolves, which we knew before. There is no cure. I don’t know why we thought we could come up with something when so many have failed before.” The hazel-eyed boy sounded thoroughly dejected. “Some Marauders, huh? Can’t even cure lycanthropy. Just about all we can do is throw Remus a stick to keep him company.”

 

Oh! Sirius sat bolt upright. “What did you just say?”

 

James looked puzzled. “Throw him a stick?”

 

“No.” Sirius’s eyes were burning with a strange light. “Keep him company!”

 

“Um…” James looked completely lost.

 

“That’s it!” Sirius exclaimed. A funny feeling that felt like excitement was bubbling up inside his chest.

 

“What’s it?” asked Peter, looking even more confused than James.

 

“Don’t you see?” Sirius could barely contain his glee. I can’t believe I didn’t think of this before!

 

“See what?” James asked. “Sirius, mate, you’re not making any sense.”

 

“We can keep him company!” Sirius waved his arms around, as though the broad gestures might help to get his point across. Why can’t they see?

 

“Sirius,” James spoke very slowly, as though to a small child. “You’re mad. He’d kill us.”

 

“No!” Sirius practically growled in frustration. Understand, damn it!

 

“No?” James repeated in disbelief. “Sirius –”

 

“Not as people!” Sirius cut him off. “A werewolf would mutilate us as people!”

 

“Yes, Sirius, that’s what I –”

 

“Only as people!”

 

“Sirius what –”

 

“A werewolf is only dangerous to humans!”

 

“Sirius, I don’t underst–”

 

“As animals! We can keep him company as animals!”

 

“That’s impossible,” James said flatly, looking irritated at having been unable to finish a sentence.

 

“No it’s not,” Sirius’s voice, which had been rising steadily, was lower now, but much more intense.

 

“How?” James challenged.

 

“We can become animagi.”

 

James stared at his friend as though the grey-eyed boy had sprouted an extra head.

 

“What?” asked Peter.

 

“Animagi, Pete,” Sirius explained, eyes blazing. “Wizards who can turn into animals at will. McGonagall was talking about them just yesterday in class. Turned into a cat and back again. Remember?”

 

“Oh yeah!” The proverbial light had dawned on the marble that was Peter’s head. “We can do that?” he looked awed.

 

“No!” James snapped, glaring suddenly from one friend to the other. “No, we can’t.”

 

“Why not?” Sirius demanded, feeling as though his best friend had just punched him in the gut.

 

“Because we’re only thirteen!” James exploded. “It’s far too dangerous. Don’t you know how many things can go wrong? Weren’t you listening to McGonagall? We don’t have the training! And it’s illegal!”

 

Peter’s jaw had dropped.

 

“Are you scared?” Sirius wanted to know. His tone was calm now, he wasn’t accusing, merely curious. He genuinely wanted to know if James was frightened by the prospect of such an undertaking.

 

James sized him up for a moment, then nodded. “Yes,” he admitted at last. “Yes, I’m scared.”

 

Sirius’s eyes flashed. “Good,” he said. “So am I.”

 

“Good?” James echoed.

 

“Yes,” Sirius nodded. “Yes, it’s good that you’re scared. It’s good that I’m scared. You know why?”

 

James shook his head.

 

“Because Rem is scared,” Sirius told his friend. “All the time. You can see it in his eyes. He’s scared of the pain it causes him when he transforms. He’s scared of hurting someone. He’s scared of losing control. He’s scared of anyone finding out.” An image flashed in Sirius’s mind of Remus desperately struggling against him last year when Sirius had confronted the younger boy about his ‘furry little problem.’ He shuddered. “At least we have a choice,” he said. “We can’t cure him, but we can help him if we choose to. For him, I’ll risk it.”

 

“Are you serious about this?”

 

“As my name,” the grey-eyed boy met his friend’s hazel gaze, feeling slightly defiant.

 

Peter laughed.

 

Sirius and James broke their eye contact at the same moment, whirling around to send matching glares at the smaller boy.

 

Peter shrank backwards.

 

“I wasn’t joking, Pettigrew,” Sirius snapped. He abruptly turned back to James, a little shocked by the severity of his own tone. Rem would want me to apologize, he thought, but the notion only served to remind him of what was at stake, and he was more concerned with how James was going to respond than dealing with their mousy friend. Please be okay with this, Sirius pled with his eyes. Please.

 

The silence seemed to stretch into eternity.

 

Please. Please. Sirius fought to keep from fidgeting.

 

“Well,” James said at last. “If you’re going to do it anyway, I may as well join in the fun.” He grinned, to let Sirius know he meant it, but gripped the other boy’s shoulder firmly to show he understood the gravity of the situation.

 

Thank you. Sirius returned both grin and shoulder-grip gratefully. He wasn’t sure what would have happened had James refused – or worse, tried to stop him. I would have lost my best friend, Sirius suddenly realized. If he’d tried to stop me, it would have been over between us. James is like another brother, but Rem…

 

“You in, Pete?” James asked the silent boy, cutting of Sirius’s increasingly disturbing thoughts.

 

“Oh! Erm…” Peter hesitated, shifting from foot to foot.

 

“Of course he is!” Sirius exclaimed, voice coming out louder than he’d intended as he leapt for something to take his mind off of his strangely uncomfortable cogitations.

 

“Yeah,” said Peter, shifting a bit more. “Of course.”

 

“I guess that means more research,” James groaned, but it was a good-natured groan. “Too bad we can’t ask Remus to help.”

 

Sirius laughed, again more loudly than he’d intended. “Yeah,” he said, determined now to forget his awkward ruminations of moments before. “But then it wouldn’t be a surprise.”

 

– – – – –

 

“Hey, Black.

 

Sirius tipped his head backwards to see the girl standing behind him, hands resting on the back of the couch. “Green,” he flashed her a smile, then shifted so he could see her properly without craning his neck.

 

She grinned in return. “I have a question for you.”

 

“I have an answer.”

 

“Would you have any interest in going to Hogsmeade this weekend with Natasha?”

 

Sirius blinked. What? “What?”

 

“Er,” Green blushed a bit. “Natasha was hoping you’d go with her to Hogsmeade next weekend. She, um, she thinks you’re cute, but she’s, uh, too shy to ask you out herself.”

 

“Oh,” Sirius blinked again. Of all the times for me to stay behind to do work with Rem when Pete and James are raiding the kitchens, he thought, then, slightly more frantic as Green continued to look at him, Where is Rem? How long does it take to get a book from upstairs, anyhow?

 

“So?” Green prompted after a long moment of silence.

 

“Oh!” Guess she wants an answer now, Sirius thought, trying to hide his growing panic, and wishing desperately that his friends were with him, or, better yet, he was with them. “Um…” What do I do? What do I do? What would Rem do? “Sure, why not?”

 

“Great!” she beamed at him. “I’ll tell Natasha.”

 

“Great,” Sirius echoed with more confidence than he felt. Growing up in the Black household – and then going to school with the Marauders – had definitely taught him how to project a self-assured image.

 

“Saturday morning, eleven o’clock, here in the common room,” Green instructed. “You can go to lunch.”

 

“Great,” Sirius said once more. The smile he wore felt pasted on, but he knew it looked genuine enough to fool anyone but Remus or James.

 

“See you around,” Green said, turning away.

 

“Yeah,” Sirius muttered, then faced front again, staring blankly down at the book in his lap. “See you.”

 

“Hey, Remus,” Sirius heard Green say.

 

“Lynette,” Remus’s voice returned.

 

Sirius looked up again as Remus flopped gracefully down on the couch next to him.

 

“Did Lynette ask you out, then?” the brunet inquired, opening his book and riffling though its pages.

 

“What?” Sirius choked. He’d barely gotten through the conversation, and Remus was asking him – calm as anything – if Lynette had asked him out? “No!”

 

Remus glanced up, studied Sirius’s shocked face for a moment, then returned to his book. “So she asked you for Natasha, then.”

 

Sirius felt his jaw drop. It wasn’t a question, he realized. It was a statement. He already knew! How does he know? Why is he so calm? Doesn’t this bother him at all? “How do you –” he began to ask, but Remus cut him off.

 

“Lily and the girls have been speculating since the start of the year,” Remus said, as though that explained everything.

 

“Speculating about what?” Sirius demanded, feeling hopelessly lost and irked that his friend seemed so unruffled.

 

“About who would get to you first,” Remus clarified – rather unhelpfully, Sirius thought.

 

“Get to me first?”

 

“You have quite the fan following, you know.” Remus seemed to have found the chapter he’d been searching for, and was now skimming down each page.

 

Sirius felt half-hypnotized by the movement of the long, slender finger tracing across the parchment, and didn’t quite take in what the other boy had said.

 

“Aha!” the finger triumphantly stabbed the page it was perched on, effectively breaking Sirius’s daze.

 

The dark-haired boy started. “Huh?”

 

“Found it,” Remus replied, but offered nothing further. He fetched the scroll he’d been writing his essay on earlier from the table in front of the couch, and retrieved a quill and his ink. “Anyway,” he continued as he began scribbling, “we’ve all been wondering which poor girl would get a date with you first.”

 

“A date?” Sirius croaked.

 

“Yes, of course,” Remus replied briskly, quill moving rapidly across the parchment. Then the pen froze and Remus looked up. “You do realize that’s what you’re doing, Sirius, don’t you?”

 

“But – I –” Sirius sputtered, suddenly feeling very stupid that the concept of a ‘date’ hadn’t sunk in during his discussion (if it could be called that) with Green. He supposed ‘date’ logically followed the phrase ‘going out’ but for some reason, he just hadn’t connected the two. He’d had quite enough to deal with when he was just thinking ‘going out.’ He swallowed, and tossed his head, trying to affect a superior attitude. “Of course I realize.”

 

Remus said nothing, merely arched an eyebrow.

 

Sirius squirmed, self-assured facade starting to crumble. He hated it when Remus looked at him like that. It was as if the other boy could see straight through him – something Sirius wouldn’t have been surprised to discover was true.

 

Remus held Sirius’s gaze as the dark-haired boy fought not to fidget from the pressure.

 

Finally, Sirius cracked. It had been fruitless to fight it, and he knew it. “All right!” he admitted, unable to handle that all-knowing stare for a single moment more. “So it didn’t occur to me that it was a date. I thought she just wanted to hang out. I don’t understand the fuss about dating. I’m still not sure why she’d want to spend time with just me. I mean,” here he tried to give Remus a cocky grin, “I know I’m wonderful and all, but I don’t really know her. She’s a girl. And Green said Natasha was shy.”

 

All at once, Remus burst out laughing.

 

Sirius scowled. So maybe I was a bit slow on the uptake, but that doesn’t mean he should laugh. “Some friend you are,” he grumbled, feeling a bit hurt.

 

“No!” Remus gasped between spurts of laughter. “Not you… it’s just…” he gulped in air, trying to control his hilarity. “It’s just… Natasha… shy!” he dissolved completely.

 

Sirius scowled some more and waited for Remus to stop. Had Remus been anyone else, even James or Peter, Sirius would have hit him with a pillow until he’d shut up, but Remus didn’t often laugh like this and Sirius secretly enjoyed the rare sound.

 

Finally, Remus quieted. “Sorry,” he murmured, clearing his throat a bit and looking somewhat embarrassed. “It’s just that Natasha Halloran is no more shy than you are. Lily said she’d heard Natasha has already gone out with half the boys in fourth year.”

 

Sirius felt his eyes widen.

 

“Most of it is rumor, I’m sure,” Remus hastened to assure his stunned friend.

 

“Right,” Sirius managed, nodding, then groaned and buried his face in his hands. I’m not ready for this. “What have I gotten myself into?”

 

There was a quiet chuckle from Remus, and soft, comforting hands threaded through Sirius’s hair. “Just let her take the lead,” he said. “You might have fun.”

 

“Fun, right,” Sirius told his palms.

 

“Take her to lunch,” Remus suggested. “Make sure you pay for both of you, of course. The gentleman always pays. You can let her choose where to eat. That way, you don’t have to worry about finding a place she’ll like, and she’ll see that you’re willing to listen to her ideas. Don’t talk about pranks or Quidditch – unless she wants to, of course – or other girls. Be polite. Hold doors for her, pull out her chair, that sort of thing. Ask about her family, and actually listen when she talks, don’t just smile and nod.”

 

“How do you know so much?” Sirius asked, voice slightly husky. He felt much calmer and very relaxed, and didn’t really realize that he’d been leaning into the soothing touch of Remus’s hands on his head.

 

“I spend a lot of time with Lily, remember?” Remus replied, and Sirius could almost feel the vibrations of the accompanying low chuckle. “Besides, some things are just common courtesy.”

 

“You should go on the date, not me,” Sirius muttered.

 

Remus chuckled again.

 

“Come with me?” Sirius asked, only half joking.

 

Remus tugged lightly on the black hair. “It’s a date, Sirius,” he said, voice amused. “That means the two of you go together. Alone. Besides, full moon tomorrow night, so I won’t be back until Saturday evening. You know they always make me stay in the hospital wing for the better part of two days afterwards.”

 

“Right,” Sirius nodded, thinking, Stupid! How could I have forgotten the full moon? He looked up. “I can cancel, if you want. Come sit with you. I don’t mind.”

 

Remus tugged Sirius’s hair again. “Nice try. You’re not standing up your first date to watch me sleep. I don’t know why you bother, anyway. James and Peter never do.”

 

Sirius felt himself flush. “One of us should be with you,” he muttered, refusing to think about the heat in his face.

 

Remus gave him a lopsided grin.

 

Did I eat something strange? Sirius wondered briefly as his stomach did a funny flip.

 

“I’ll admit, I like having you there when I wake up,” Remus said, still with that crooked grin on his face. “But it’s not necessary. Go with Natasha. Have fun. I’ll see you that night.”

 

The hands withdrew from Sirius’s hair and Remus turned back to his essay, effectively ending the conversation.

 

Sirius watched the amber-eyed boy for a moment, missing the warm caress on his head, then gave himself a firm mental shake and retreated behind his book.

 

TBC